152 insights into my soul

So, it has been a weekend. We are tired. Partly from the weekend but also partly just from life. Really, it has been a year. This month last year we found out we would be transitioning from staff at the end of Dec. In Jan we found out we would be moving to AR. In Feb we came and found our apt and in Mar (7 months from today) we pulled out of Baton Rouge. The apt was great. We swam a lot, met some neat people and found a great church. In May, we found a spec house that was only at the stud stage. So for a few months we swam and checked out the progress on our house. In Aug we started homeschooling. In Sept we moved into our house. And now, on the last day of Oct 2010, Chip and I are tired. Emotionally, Physically, Spiritually, and Relationally. I am actually laughing right now because Chip just said the only thing that was keeping him going tonight to our church's Family Fest is that he wants to go. You see, our kids are total crank pots right now. They are tired too--emotionally, physically, spiritually and relationally. To some, we have had a fun weekend. Friday night we took the kids, along with one of our neighbors to a local church's festival complete with fair rides, pony rides, corn dogs and funnel cakes. Saturday morning we layed low until we went to Streed's last baseball game. We went straight from there to watch our old Southeastern Lions play football about 45 minutes from here. While there we saw a few old friends (a couple that used to support us while on staff as well as a football player that Chip discipled). Then we drove tired kids home so they could trick-or-treat with the kids in our neighborhood. When they woke up this morning an old friend was here. He had come in town late and stayed the night. He was just passing through. Then we left for church, ate lunch, and are supposedly napping so we can go to our church's festival tonight. So, even though it has been a busy weekend, it has been really sad. Now, I am about to cry. That is why I posted a picture of me in sunglasses. My sunglasses have saved me a lot of embarrassment on occasion here. Yesterday was one of those days. WARNING: I am feeling that this will be a long post. It's really for me. I need to journal and I just do not feel like picking up a pen and paper.

So, as Streed's game ended and Chip told all the kids how much he enjoyed being their coach and how much they improved over the season...(this was fall instructional league. they did not have real team names, they had 9 games, not a big deal right?) a mom (one of the assitant coaches wife's, who has lived here all her life and has family here and kids in school) comes up to me and asks if Chip and I have any plans for a party for the team. I start smiling and saying that we are really sorry at this coach/coaches wife thing. She cuts me off with a serious face and says, "So, you're not?" in an accusing tone of voice. So now mine turns from light hearted to a shaky almost crying voice. I tell her that we are maxed out with just having moved a few weeks ago and that Chip is out of town a lot. I then say in a calm kind voice, "I am not trying to be rude, but if you want to plan one that would be great but I just cannot." She smiles politely and says that's all she needed to know. AHHH! I am so glad of how I handled the situation. But, it has bothered Chip and I for 24 hours. I do not feel bad in one ounce of my being that we are not having a team party. I do however seriously loath being a disappointment. Chip and I are first born. 9 times out of 10 we are going to do what is expected of us because that is what we do. That is who we are. BUT, when Chip said he would be the coach (because they were short on coaches) there was no handbook saying that the wife is expected to plan a party. In no way were those kids deprived because they did not get pizza and a plastic piece of gold on a fake marble base.

So I leave there upset. I really should take Nate home for a nap. But I really want to go to the football game. You see, at this point I am stewing over the previously mentioned scenerio. So, I go. The kids do really well at the game. As soon as we get to the visiting stands we see our friends. They were so great. They loved seeing the kids. They told me a sad story about some of our old church friends in Hammond. I got to my seat sad. Then I begin looking around--the stands are small (it feels just like Hammond and like Troy when I first got there in '96), there was green and gold all around us, we could see our buddy dressed out on the field in front of us and I just could not hold it in any longer. It's just sad. We did not ask to leave Hammond. We spent 8 1/2 GREAT years there. We know God took us to Baton Rouge, just like brought us to Arkansas. That does not mean it's not hard. All of our kids were born there. We still have dear dear friends there. So the memories were overwhelming: people's faces, ministry, our former life etc. I got it together, with the help of this monkey yelling in GO LIONS!
Afterwards we went to the fence and saw our buddy. A few of the coaches came up and talked to Chip. Another player came over and hugged him. We hugged hi and bye and all (except Nate) walked off really really sad. Again, thank you sunglasses. I think this will do for now. I must take the monkeys to get more candy. If you are still reading you are really really awesome and I love you much.