Day 23

Lately at night the kids get to play a little after dinner because it is so bright and they are so wired it just seems to early to go to bed. This however seems to backfire in my household. Nate goes to bed early most nights and then gets rudely awakened by a combination of: a light being turned on, giggling, fighting, spankings &/or crying. Last night Chip had enough and told them, "That's it. You will not go outside tomorrow to play!" I am in the other room thinking, "That sounds like a great plan for someone who WILL BE AT WORK ALL DAY!" I told him that was punishment for me too but that I would do it. So, as our friends played we stayed inside. There was much whining and crying going on. Around lunch I had had enough. I lost it a few times.

Once they were down for nap I just had to escape to the blazing heat of our "front porch" and cool off. I ate a yummy wrap and drank ice cold water which made me happy. Then I pulled out The Valley of Vision that Jill gave me for my birthday. It is a collection of old Puritan prayers that are rich. I usually turn to Sections 2: Redemption & Reconciliation; or Section 3: Penitence & Deprecation. Today was no different. I read three prayers that I am going to share. They were great for me and I know some of you will benefit from all or part of them as well. I hope this wets your appetite enough to click on the link and purchase a copy for yourself or someone you know--or even just to fall at His feet and pray.

The Convicting Spirit

THOU BLESSED SPIRIT, AUTHOR OF ALL GRACE AND COMFORT

Come, work repentance in my soul;
Represent sin to me in its odious colours that I may hate it:
Melt my heart by the majesty and mercy of God;
Show me my ruined self and the help there is in Him;
Teach me to behold my Creator,
His ability to save,
His arms outstretched,
His heart big for me.
May I confide in His power and love,
commit my soul to Him without reserve,
bear His image, observe His laws,
pursue His service,
and be through time and eternity
a monument to the efficacy of His grace,
a trophy of His victory.
Make me willing to be saved in His way,
perceiving nothing in myself, but all in Jesus:
Help me not only to receive Him but
to walk in Him,
depend upon Him,
commune with Him,
be comformed to Him,
follow Him,
imperfect, but still pressing forward,
not complaining of labour, but still valuing rest,
not murmuring under trials, but thankful for my state.
Give me that faith which is the means of salvation,
and the principle and meduim of all godliness;
May I be saved by grace through faith,
live by faith,
fill the joy of faith,
do the work of faith.
Perceiving nothing in myself, may I find in Christ
wisdom, righteousness, sanctification,
redemption.

The Cry of a Convicted Sinner

THOU RIGHTEOUS AND HOLY SOVEREIGN,

In whose hand is my life and whose are all
my ways,
Keep me from fluttering about religion;
fix me firm in it,
for I am irresolute;
my decisions are smoke and vapour,
and I do not glorify thee,
or behave according to thy will;
Cut me not off before my thoughts grow
to responses,
and the budding of my soul into full flower,
for thou art forbearing and good,
patient and kind.
Save me from myself,
from the artifices and deceits of sin,
from the treachery of my perverse nature,
from denying thy charge against my offences,
from a life of continual rebellion against thee,
from wrong principles, views and ends;
for I know that all my thoughts, affections,
desires and pursuits are alienated from thee.
I have acted as if I hated thee, although thou art
love itself;
have contrived to tempt thee to the uttermost,
to wear out thy patience;
have lived evilly in word and action.
Had I been a prince
I would long ago have crushed such a rebel;
Had I been a father
I would long since have rejected my child.
O, thou Father of my spirit,
thou King of my life,
cast me not into destruction,
drive me not from thy presence,
but wound my heart that it may be healed;
break it that thine own hand
may make it whole.

The Awakened Sinner (my favorite so far)

O MY FORGETFUL SOUL,

Awake from thy wandering dream;
turn from chasing vanities,
look inward, forward, upward,
view thyself,
reflect upon thyself,
who and what thou art, why here,
what thou soon must be.
Thou art a creature of God,
formed and furnished my Him,
lodged in a body like a shepherd in his tent;
Dost thou not desire to know God's ways?

O GOD,

Thou injured, neglected, provoked Benefactor
when I think upon thy greatness and thy goodness
I am ashamed at my insensibility,
I blush to lift up my face,
for I have foolishly erred.
Shall I go on neglecting thee,
when every one of thy rational creatures
should love thee,
and take every care to please thee?
I confess that thou hast not been in all my thoughts,
that the knowledge of thyself as the end of
my being has been strangely overlooked,
that I have never seriously considered
my heart-need.
But although my mind is perplexed and divided,
my nature perverse,
yet my secret dispositions still desire thee.
Let me not delay to come to thee;
Break the fatal enchantment that binds
my evil affections,
and bring me to a happy mind that rests in thee,
for thou hast made me and canst not forget me.
Let thy Spirit teach me the vital lessons of Christ,
for I am slow to learn;
And hear thou my broken cries.