(no subject)

Just downed my 2nd glass of orange juice (thanks shana). Been decorating the mantle. No one ever told me this was hard to do. I have waited my whole life for a mantle and now I don't know what to do with it. Actually I got it how I want it, I think. I really want a nice nativity scene to put front and center. I think what was hard for me is that I like it simple and 5 stockings is not simple. So, I settled for some greenery, some glass cylinders filled with red and gold glass balls, and mine and chips stockings. I need to go to bed. Shana said I needed to go to bed earlier than normal. I also need to read my bible. Streed was giving me fits going to bed. He said, "Why do you have an angry attitude?" I told him it was because he was not going to bed. He said, "I think it is because we did not read the bible." I told him he was right and that I needed to go do that.

fyi: i do have a camera. a friend of mine found me one for $30 at an estate sale. i figured it would do until i could get a nice one and that it was better than nothing. but, there is no power cord and my computer does not support this size memory card. therefore, i am still picture-less in my posts.

tomorrow is 8 weeks

No, not pregnant. That is how long I have been sick. I was diagnosed with pneumonia on Sept 30. I took my antibiotics for a week then followed up with my doctor for a chest x-ray on Oct 8. It looked clear so he said I could resume normal activity. Apparently I am an idiot. I did not at all think that I should ease my way back to normalcy since I had basically been on bed rest for over a week. That very afternoon I went walking and did an insane amount of lunges. The next week I went on a field trip with Streed and then took Nate to his 18 month check up. Both of these excursions apparently put me around quite a few germs. Also during that week we got the financial news. So, I guess stress plus germs on top of a weekend immune system sent me into shock. The 17th I got a slightly sore throat in the afternoon that progressed into a severe sore throat along with fever and chills that night. I went to the walk-in clinic on the 18th. Swine and Strep tests were negative but with me just having had pneumonia she gave me Tami-flu just to be safe since I may have caught a virus. At some point I went back to my doctor because I was still congested and coughing. Another chest x-ray looked clear. The diagnosis was I may be getting a sinus infection and that it is probably allergies. He prescribed a steroid pack and Zyrtec. I took all that and saw no progression towards health. I called the doc on Nov 23 because I was pretty sure I had a sinus infection. I did not feel bad, probably due to the amount of drugs in my system, but all other symptoms were there. He called me in a Z pack. That same day a rash appeared from basically my scalp to my knees. I could not see anything on my scalp but it was itching terribly. I took some benedryl that night and went to bed. I slept but the rash was not better, maybe worse, when I awoke on the 24th. That morning, the day were leaving for Thanksgiving holidays, I went back in to my doctor to make sure it was not contagious. He said it looked like contact dermatitis rather than an allergic reaction to something I ate. So, the only thing I can contribute it to is either firewood or our citrus tree. Neither of these are new things I have touched but I touched them both that day. He said take Zyrtec. I did and it totally went away. For days I have had fluid in my ears. I feel like I have been swimming and need to jump up and down with my head tilted to the side. However, this does not help. Last night when I laid down I had pain in my right ear. Ear infection? Who knows. I feel like it is the plague. Chip and I just laugh when I have a new symptom. What else are you gonna do? I guess another $30 co-pay is coming my doctors way. Whoo Whoo!

*Disclaimer--I have never been to the doctor this much in my life. It has only been since moving. My sister asked if I needed attention. At $30 a pop + feeling like a hypochondriac, I don't need it that badly.

soon and very soon

I want to post a few things but right now I am in the throws of getting ready to leave town tomorrow. I have already squandered most of my kids nap time so I must put it into high gear. So, maybe tonight.

honestly

I was thinking today that I do not blog because there is just so much going on. Like everyone, life is busy. I just looked at several other blogs and just get overwhelmed at their ability to document everything. I am not there right now. I know I have been in the past. There really is a lot to say. Probably almost daily I think about blogging a thought, something the kids said, something I read, something to pray for. But then I don't. To be honest I think I was discouraged by the number of comments on my post about laundry verses the vulnerability about our finances. Even then I feel guilty about saying that and wonder should I erase that, will that offend somebody. I think I just at this point in my life feel better and maybe safer with my journal. I had no idea this post was going to go there. People that journal or write process as they write. I am that way. I thought I was just going to say that blogging overwhelmed me. I guess that was only partly true. I guess now I know how I really feel. to post or not to post, POST

the countdown is on

It seems like an eternity ago that I wrote NEW MOON across Nov 20th on my calendar. But much to my surprise it is now Nov 17th. I am not going to the midnight premiere but Chip and I are both excited about going Friday night to see the much anticipated sequel. To fuel my excitement, or to somewhat satisfy it, I have been scanning fan sites today. (Some people are beyond excited. They are disturbed.) I went to stepheniemeyer.com and read some of the Q&A on her page. I loved this question and answer...

My question for you is.... are you at all surprised by the variety in age of your readers? I am 32 years old and absolutely loved your books, and I know I am not alone, in many discussion groups I have found there are 30, 40, even 50 somethings reading twilight. Thanks and keep writing! - Amy B.

Because I wrote Twilight for my twenty-nine-year-old self and not for a future YA audience, it always made sense to me that women my age would get it the same way I did. Are you ever too old to remember falling in love for the first time?

to Him be the glory

Two weeks ago Chip and I (along with some other staff) found out we were not going to get paid this month. Due to many staff being in a deficit the cash flow was just not such that we could all get full paychecks. Some were getting full, some half, some none--based on your support in your account. It was shocking news to say the least. The range of emotions ran wild from scared to hurt to mad and back to scared. The information we were given said that we needed $9000 a month to come in October, November and December to cover our deficit, salary, insurance and taxes in order to get a full paycheck. What came in would go first to pay our insurance, next towards our deficit (which was $9000) and a portion of what was left over would go towards salary. I could do quick math and figure out we needed $27,000 to come in in order to function in a manner to pay bills, mortgage and eat without putting major expenses on a credit card and draining our small savings. That is why my posts kept talking about needing God every hour.

I was never worried about the $27,000 coming in near the end of the year. I knew God could do that. That is why Chip and I were not worried about our $9000 deficit. We usually are low towards the end of the year and then have some big givers in December. Some of our supporters do not give until December. I was, however, worried about it coming in in time and about not getting a paycheck at all. That was terrifying to me, as a human being, in my flesh, as a woman etc. I was trying hard to pray and trust and seek God.

I say all that, not to give anyone a bad taste of our ministry, but to say that today we got paid, our full salary. I am in tears typing because God did it. He used our friends to exceed our October need. As of last night $11,000 had come in. He did not have to do that for us but He did.

We still have to trust for November and December of course but we know God cares for His children and that He will do what is best for us, according to His Holy will, for His glory. So, I wanted to give Him the Glory due Him in this current circumstance in our lives. Thank you to those of you who gave and prayed for us simply because you knew something was wrong, even if you did not know specifics. I love you all.

My Pumpkin

My favorite Ella picture at this point in time. I love that smile and how she is sitting. It is hard to capture a true smile from her on camera so this is priceless.
Thanks Jill for taking it and for taking her with you.

Ella went to the pumpkin patch with some friends last week. I just loved these pictures from their day. I love that her best girl buddies all have curly hair. They will have friends that understand frizz and needing long layers and all the fuss that comes with being blessed with pretty curls. But, even better than that, they also are sweet girls who are being raised to fear and love the Lord. Their parents are our good friends who train and discipline in similar fashions. This makes squabbles so much more pleasant. And yes sometimes 3 is a crowd. And Ella is the youngest of the three by a good bit. But, they are learning that "A friends loves at all times" and that is a good lesson to learn at an early age.

Idea

In the mail this week I got some mail from Samaritan's Purse about their Christmas Shoe Boxes. We participated in this outreach last year. I did not think we would be able to do it this year so I threw the mail away. The next day I got this--Samaritan's Purse Gift Catalog. I started flipping through it and was hooked. There are so many ways to donate much needed items. It tells you what is needed along with the price and how much that will buy. You can donate money towards hot meals, blankets, fruit trees, livestock, fish for a fish pond, evangelistic materials etc. I picked out things to donate towards based on each of my kids likes. Nate will donate Milk, Streed will donate Sports Equipment, and Ella will donate Christmas Treats (candy). Check it out and see if any of it strikes your family's interest. I think we will also as a family donate some evangelistic materials. I am so excited about this.

Confidence Boosters

Story 1:

When I was sick a friend of mine brought me the best spaghetti ever. I text her after a few bites and asked if there was wine in the sauce. She said, red wine...lots. So, a few days later I was grocery shopping and said decided I just had to get some ingredients for spaghetti. I picked up some Merlot and headed for the checkout. Let me add that I was by myself and had been somewhere that morning so I actually was dressed and had make-up on. I get to the checkout and as the young guy scans the wine I hand him my ID. He promptly lets me know that he does not need it. So, I quietly slipped it back in my wallet with hurt pride. I mean, couldn't he have just humored me?

Story 2:

For about a week my husband has been not so subtly telling me I need a haircut. I thought they were not supposed to notice those things. Granted, it has been MONTHS since I had it cut but still. I was trying to convince myself that since it was long I could get away with letting it go. I knew I was due, but the fact that Chip too knew I was due was another story. I kept telling him I was trying not to spend any money. But, he literally made me go. So, for the first time in a while I went to a non-salon. I went to WonderCuts. And I must say I am pleased. My hair is easy...trim the ends and cut long layers. My only complaint was that she did not thin it how I would have liked. But, for $14.95 I cannot complain. I am embarrassed that I even admitted that. I am tempted to hit backspace.

Dinosaur Train

If you have not seen PBS's newest cartoon, Dinosaur Train, I highly recommend it. It is a staple at our house. And thankfully I like it too. It is about a mom, her name was Mrs. Pteranodon, sitting on her nest she heard a scratch. And she said, "Oh boy my eggs are hatching." Out popped baby Pteranodons 1-2-3. She named them Tiny, Shiny and Don. Then Tiny said, "Look mom there's one more egg". Out popped a dinosaur of a different size. He had teeth and a tail and big green eyes. The he said, "what am I doing in a Pteranodon nest?" She named him Buddy and then they headed off to the Pteranodon station to ride the dinosaur train to find out his species, because we're all creatures with different features. Sometimes Streed wants us to play Dinosaur Train. So, I named him Don, Ella is Shiny and I call Nate Tiny Buddy!